The Burlingames

Chronicling the adventures of the B's
October 8, 2010

Cardiologist Update…

by Dave

Today I took Eli into the cardiologist for his bi-annual checkup. He had an echocardiogram done today and did a fabulous job. The technician put the movie ‘Madagascar’ on the TV, Eli laid back and watched the movie during the entire process. He did a wonderful job, I wasn’t sure how he would react to the table and the entire echo procedure. I was certainly surprised.

Next we saw Dr. Rios and he was super pleased with how everything looked. He informed me that all the mechanics of his heart were working just as they should for his condition. He also said the leakage in his heart valve seemed to be much improved, apparently his medication and the last surgery helped with that process. He also said that Eli was right on target for weight and height (based on his heart condition).

Dr. Rios said in April we’ll do the hospitalization visit. Meaning – Eli will be admitted for the day and undergo a heart catherization, EKG, MRI and other testing. The tests are in preparation for his final surgery. The doc said we could hold off on his last surgery until sometime next fall, but I asked if we could bump it up to during the summer (especially since I could be home with him). Dr. Rios said that was perfectly fine, he likes to accommodate parent’s schedules as much as he can.

Once again, a wonderful report from the cardiologist! This makes me very, very happy!!! Praise God!!!

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October 5, 2010

35 Weeks…

by Dave

I went to the doctor today for my 35 week check-up. He did a cervical exam and informed me that my cervix is still close and quite high. BOOO!!! Although, he did say if I were to go into labor between now and my due date, he wouldn’t stop me. I told him that was a good thing because if he tried to stop me, he might get hurt. He laughed!

Other good news, the baby is still head down and he has a very good heartbeat.

Ugh – we’ll see what next week brings. I’m very ready to be done with this pregnancy and excited to meet my little boy.

Any name suggestions?!?!

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October 2, 2010

A few things…

by Dave

1. As you may have noticed I was using the blog to vent some frustration, express my feelings and keep people updated. I’ve decided to start journaling more and will be using the blog for less emotional updates. I do plan to keep everyone updated on our family and how we are doing, but most of my personal feelings will be expressed in my journal. Depending upon what I write, I may post a journal entry from time to time.

2. Today we are starting the process of cutting down a big tree out front of our house. The tree is partially dead and needs to come down anyway. Once the tree is down and the stumps (there are two) are removed, we intend to plant a maple tree in memory of Mom. I have lots of plants from the visitation/funeral that I plan to put around the base of the tree. I would like to create a little memorial for Mom. Some place that I can go to sit and talk with her. I need this for me because I won’t be able to go to the cemetery whenever I want to be with Mom, it is too far away. It will be nice to have this at our place.

3. Eli has learned to say, Papa and Au Brion, for Grampa and Aunt Brianna. It is super cute when he says their names. I makes me glad that he’s making those types of connections.

4. Please continue to pray for us. This has been an extremely difficult journey and it all still sucks. Like I said before, I wasn’t ready for my Mom to die. Dad wasn’t ready for his wife to die. Brianna wasn’t ready for her Mom to die. Basically, we were not ready for this unexpected life change and I wish there was something I could do to change it all.

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September 30, 2010

How are you?

by Dave

I get asked this question many, many, many times a day. Often times I want to ask the recipient if they want the polite answer (fine, thank you) or the honest answer (HORRIBLE!!!).

How are you? Well, I am…

  • sad – I don’t have a mom any more
  • tired – I wake up often due to being pregnant and needing to pee all the time, and struggle with falling back asleep
  • jealous – of those who still have moms (especially those who may not like their moms); that Mom knows my baby’s name (I have no idea)
  • happy – to meet my new baby boy
  • excited – to be meet my baby and be done with the pregnancy
  • angry – at God for taking Mom, at Mom for dying
  • irritated – that I can’t be available for my Dad and sister on a daily basis
  • good – I made it ________ minutes/hours without thinking about her
  • stressed – about not having much time to take off with my new baby
  • overwhelmed – at the thought of needing/wanting to fill Mom’s shoes, being supportive/helpful/useful/not annoying/etc. from a distance
  • thankful – that I still have my Dad, sister, husband, kids and lots of family and friends

That’s how I’m doing.

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September 29, 2010

Two Weeks…

by Dave

Two weeks have past now since Mom died. The reality of her being gone hasn’t fully set in yet. I keep reaching for my phone to call her but all too quickly realize that I can’t call her. I’m not ready for her to be gone, I’m only 27 years old and not ready to not have a mom any more, I still need her. It just doesn’t seem fair. Some day I’ll stop asking the ‘what if’ and ‘why’ questions but right now I can’t seem to get them out of my mind. Why did God have to take my Mom? What if she hadn’t been on that road? What if…why…what if…why…what if…

Today I kept thinking of what Dad said at the funeral, I cried each time too. I’m paraphrasing as best as I remember. “It was raining the night you died. I thought it was to wash away the tears but soon realized it was the Angels rejoicing in your arrival to heaven”.

For a long time, Wednesdays are going to be my worst day. Wednesdays will mark the number of weeks since Mom’s passing.

 

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