Two weeks have past now since Mom died. The reality of her being gone hasn’t fully set in yet. I keep reaching for my phone to call her but all too quickly realize that I can’t call her. I’m not ready for her to be gone, I’m only 27 years old and not ready to not have a mom any more, I still need her. It just doesn’t seem fair. Some day I’ll stop asking the ‘what if’ and ‘why’ questions but right now I can’t seem to get them out of my mind. Why did God have to take my Mom? What if she hadn’t been on that road? What if…why…what if…why…what if…
Today I kept thinking of what Dad said at the funeral, I cried each time too. I’m paraphrasing as best as I remember. “It was raining the night you died. I thought it was to wash away the tears but soon realized it was the Angels rejoicing in your arrival to heaven”.
For a long time, Wednesdays are going to be my worst day. Wednesdays will mark the number of weeks since Mom’s passing.
I can’t even imagine Megan. It hurts me thinking about how you must feel. Wednesdays will be hard and that makes sense to me. I’m thankful for this little one you’re about to bring into the world and all the joy he will bring you in the midst of this awful, horrible time in your lives. I miss seeing you and that growing belly.
Dear Megan & family,
Losing a loved one is the toughest thing in the world, I lost my Dad when I was 9 and for years HATED fall and hunting – he had a heart attack while hunting, so when my now ex-husband used to go hunting I would worry the entire time he was gone, make myself crazy.
It doesn’t get easier the more loved ones you lose either, I lost my brother when he was 34 and just two years ago my sister, I’m still grieving them. You get through it as best you can, one minute / day / week / season / year at a time. You focus on the good times & memories and they live on in that way. Grieving is a process and takes varying amounts of time depending on each person. I went to a grief group a year ago, that was helpful. Read some books “90 Minutes in Heaven” is good, reassuring.
I still include loved ones in my prayers and talk with them, asking the to watch over us, guide us until we are all together once again.
Focus on your beautiful family and be supportive for your Dad and sister. Take care honey, you’re all in my prayers.