The Burlingames

Chronicling the adventures of the B's
April 25, 2011

Heart Cath

by Megan

Today Eli had his heart catheterization. A heart catheterization is “the threading of a catheter (tube) through either a vein or artery into the heart. The heart catheterization is used to diagnose problems with the blood flow and structure of the heart, or to open or close certain heart structures.” *Courtesy of Children’s Heart Clinic. Today they went through Eli’s vein. During the last heart cath (at age 5 months), they had inserted several coils. The coils cut off blood flow through certain veins in an effort to reroute some blood work.

He was sedated for the entire procedure and very upset and frustrated as he was waking up. I started out holding him as he was waking up, shortly after Dave entered the room (after I had struggled to keep him calm and relaxed) he wanted Dave to hold him and promptly fell back asleep. Upon waking up again, Eli wanted various people in and out of the room (Dave’s parents – Charlie and Kathy were there as well). He was able to eat and drink, he did not throw up (which was very good). He stayed calm and still for the next few hours and watched the movie ‘Cars’. Before we could go home, the doctors and nurses wanted to see him up and moving around. He got up and played for a little bit. As we were packing up to go home, he started perking up and was getting excited to go home. However, he did NOT like having the bandages pulled off. Now we just need to make sure the cath site doesn’t burst (blood shooting out) for the next few days, then we can resume all normal activities.

The doctors were very pleased with how his heart and blood vessels were working. They did say his heart valve is still leaking, but they were not concerned about it. Dr. Rios said he was ‘good to go’ for the last surgery. They will be calling us soon to schedule the last surgery.

We were given a tour of new heart unit at Children’s in Minneapolis. It was absolutely gorgeous!! For his previous two surgeries we started out in the pre-surgical area, then moved to the PICU (after surgery) and finally moved to the IMC before discharge. Now, everything is on the 4th floor. Eli would have his own room, instead of being in the bay with the high traffic area just across from his bed. Each room has either a 1/2 bathroom or full bathroom (super nice), a pull out bed, several chairs for sitting in, TONS of space for moving around, locked storage units and so much more. It was absolutely amazing, such a HUGE transformation from what it had been. We also saw the Ronald McDonald House that is now housed within the hospital (3rd floor). We will be able to stay there overnight if need be, we can get our meals there, sit and relax in the huge common area and socialize with other families with children in the hospital. We also found out that since I’m nursing Noah, we’ll be able to get a meal voucher card for the week. This is a big deal, it takes away a huge expense of purchasing food for the duration of the hospital stay. The only expense we’ll have for the week is parking (very thankfully my insurance will cover the entire cost of his surgery and recovery).

I struggled emotionally today. My baby was hurting and he didn’t want me and my Mom wasn’t there to comfort and support me, her baby. I was missing Mom so much today and wished she could’ve been there or available via the phone to talk. I’m going to miss her this summer when we do his final surgery. She was going to stay with us during Eli’s hospital stay and help with Noah and taking turns being at the hospital with Eli. Ugh, sometimes death really sucks.

* Courtesy of Children’s Heart Clinic.

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April 7, 2011

I’m doing & Shock

by Megan

I had stumbled across a blog of a woman whose baby girl was stillborn at 39 weeks. I spent hours reading as she shared her grief journey. I was just in awe of her raw emotion and how well she was able to put what she was feeling into words. Most days, when asked, I cannot put my emotions into words. More often than not, my response to “how are you doing” is “I’m doing”. I’m doing the best I know how right now. I’m doing alright. I’m doing what’s expected of me (I think). I’m doing…

I’ve also heard that year one is typically the year of shock and year two is the year of feelings. The more I’ve thought about it, the more I’m finding this to be so true. Most days I’m still shocked that Mom is dead. I’m shocked that I’ll never see her again (I will, but not until I get to heaven). I’m shocked that my boys won’t get to grow up knowing their Gramma. I’m shocked that Dad won’t get to celebrate any more anniversaries with her. I’m shocked that she’ll never call me on the morning of my birthday to sing ‘Happy Birthday’ to me again. I’m shocked when I reach for my phone to call her and suddenly remember I can’t. I’m shocked that I don’t cry more than I do, part of me wants to cry all the time, but I can’t. I am still in so much shock that she is gone. It still does not feel real to me.

I miss my mom and everyday I wish she were here and not there. I know heaven is a great place, but it is a bit too far away.

Mom – please know that I love you so much and miss you everyday.

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March 16, 2011

Joy and Sadness

by Megan

Yesterday was a day of joy and sadness.

March 15th is Noah’s 4 month birthday!! Noah is officially 4 months old. He has brought us so much joy and laughter in these last 4 months. Noah’s smile is so contagious. When he smiles, you can’t help but smile too. He is also a cuddly, kissable chunk!! I love smothering his cheeks with kisses (the best part – he just sits there and takes it). Noah is quite the talker (he might be like his Uncle Nate – he never stops talking), constantly talking and telling us stories. A big milestone – Noah also rolled over (back to tummy) for the first time yesterday. Yay!!! We are so grateful and thankful to have such a sweet little (chunky) blessing in our life.

March 15th marked 6 months since my mom was tragically killed in a car accident. Some days it seems like it has been much longer than 6 months and other days it seems like it was just yesterday. I think about her each and every day. Sometimes I cry and sometimes I smile. One day the pain of her being gone will lessen but the hole will always be there. I LOVE looking at pictures of Mom. I hope to make either a scrapbook or another type of picture book of pictures of Mom. Something that I can sit down and look at when I’m missing her and cry or smile. Something I can show my boys one day and tell them about Gramma and how much she loved them. I had a thought the other day, it came up through a brief conversation, how do I say Mom died? Do I say she ‘passed away’ (which seems polite) or do I say she was ‘killed’ (which is true but also seems kind of harsh)? To me ‘passed away’ means it was expected, ie. from an illness or cancer. Mom didn’t ‘pass away’, it wasn’t expected. In fact, it was the complete opposite, it was very UNexpected. I guess I’ll continue with what I’ve been saying for the last 6 months, “she was tragically killed in a car accident”.

The 15th of each month will mark a ‘birthday’ and anniversary. Each month God will give me the strength to get through the day. One day the 15th will not bring sorrow to my heart, it will bring joy in knowing that Mom is now with the Creator of all things. It will bring joy in knowing that one day, I’ll be with her again. Right now the 15th is still a day of mixed feelings (joy and sorrow), but one day, I know it will just be joy.

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January 22, 2011

Quick Update

by Megan

Here is a quick update of the Burlingame household, its been awhile.

Dave – put in some crazy hours at work over the holiday season. In the two weeks prior to Christmas he worked about 115 hours – CRAZINESS!!! We were quite glad to have him home for two 3-day weekends, in a row. He has since been busy trying to find someone to mud/tape some rooms for us. He keeps the boys home with him on Mondays, his day off from work. Which is great for us, saves us over $200 a month in daycare cost. On Thursdays, when he doesn’t have worship band practice, his band gets together to practice. There is talk of a gig coming up soon. We’ll keep you posted.

Eli – is still a busy, busy boy. He loves playing with his cars and trains. He is still obsessed with Thomas, James and Percy. It is kind of funny, he knows all the characters in his Thomas movies. He also knows all the characters in his Arthur books. He loves to sit and read stories with us or with Noah. At the moment, he still adores his little brother. As I type this, Eli is laying on the floor next to Noah giving him kisses on his head. Oh fer cute!! ;)

Noah – is a growing boy. We had his 2 month appointment this week. He is up to 13lbs 5oz and is 24.25 inches long. He also got his 2 month shots and did great with them. He loves to talk and smile. He also loves to watch his big brother be silly. Noah is getting a little bit better at sleeping at night, his first stretch of sleep is typically the longest 3-5 hours, the rest of the night is anywhere from 1-3 hours until he decides to be awake for the day.

Both boys are doing great at daycare. Eli is protective of ‘his Noah’ and gets very concerned if other kids get too close. Lynn, our daycare lady, says at least once a day Eli will lay down next to Noah and chat with him for a few minutes before getting up to go play some more.

House – is slowly coming along. I’ve been going through and purging things. We have too much stuff and I want to have less stuff. So, I’m slowly getting rid of what we don’t need or want any more but I’m also reminding myself to not go buy more – that’s the key. As Noah grows out of his clothes I’ve been separating them into two boxes for some friends. I’ve been slowly giving away my maternity clothes. Yes, this means I’m done having children (that’s a story for another time). Two boys are enough for me.

Me – I’m recovering from a recent bout with the stomach flu. My stomach still hurts but the aches and chills are gone, thank goodness. I’ve been keeping busy with work, bible study and the boys. I enjoy my time home with them. I still try to find time to crochet in all my busyness and enjoy making baby blankets for friends.

That’s a semi quick update of our family. Once the picture galleries get sorted out, we’ll start update those as well.

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January 20, 2011

Progress

by Dave

The blog is coming back to life. When I wasn’t taking care of the young and infirm I managed to do a bit of maintenance on our site. The current theme may or may not end up being our chosen design, but it’s infinitely better than the default we were stuck with for the last month or so.

FYI: I don’t have a preview button for a lot of the changes I’m making, so don’t be surprised if you click on something and it doesn’t work or if things just generally look strange for a while yet.

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