Boobies or Bottles
Bet that got your attention! ;-)
Up until this week, I’ve nursed our nearly 8 month old son and have enjoyed almost every minute of it. I could do without the 3am feedings. So, here’s how the saga goes…
Tuesday – My milk supply was severely depleted and I didn’t know why. I hadn’t changed my diet, my routine or water intake, so I was very confused. It was a very sad day. I cried a lot of tears and was sad much of the day. Noah would nurse and nurse, but was never satisfied. I had to supplement with a bottle twice (which is not a big deal). By the end of the day I felt like a failure, my body was failing to do its job for my baby boy. I was sad that I would no longer going to be the sole food provider for my baby boy. Like I said, I cried a lot. I got up 2 times during the night to feed Noah but it wasn’t enough.
Wednesday – I spent the day nursing and I felt like that’s all I did (it was a flashback to Noah’s newborn days when he nursed 23 hours a day). I fed him his normal solids for breakfast, lunch and dinner and nursed him in between. He was such a busy nurser – suck, look around, suck, look around, suck, look around…ya get the picture. This is how it was all day long. I felt like a pacifier all day. I was starting to feel more ready to be done nursing, but the thought of not having my mandatory snuggles saddened me still. I got up with Noah twice during the night.
Thursday – I woke up at 5am to nurse Noah and was put through the ringer. He pushed and pulled and stretched me while eating and looking around. It was at 5:15am that I decided I was done nursing. I felt an odd sense of relief. The pressure is off me to eat enough calories and drink enough water to produce enough milk for Noah to eat during the day. Noah only drank 3 ounces all day (he ate a lot of food but only drank 3 ounces). Finally just before bed, he ate about 6 ounces. I got up to feed Noah a bottle once during the night.
Friday – I do miss my snuggles and nursing, but I can still snuggle while he eats a bottle. He has taken several bottles from me today and has done a great job. I’ve been pumping for the last two days and I’m noticing that it does not ’empty’ me out as well as my sweet baby did (lots of pressure and lumps forming). I still feel like I’ve made the right decision.
Despite it all, I still feel relieved. I also feel proud of myself for having breastfeed my son for 8 months. That’s a huge accomplishment, in my opinion. Eli never nursed, which is why I enjoyed nursing Noah so much, but I pumped for 6 months. With Noah, I nursed (and pumped while at work) for 8 months. That’s huge!!
I’ve decided to pump for a little while (2 or 3 times a day) until I decide to be done with that, I have no set timeline. Although, I do want to pump through Eli’s hospital stay for very selfish reasons. In the hospital if I’m a nursing or pumping mom, they will give us food vouchers for the cafeteria (the food there is expensive).
Thanks for listening to my saga. Next week…poop! Kidding!
Now, I’m somewhat accustomed to this sort of talk as an active participant in the raising of our children and keeping up with their daily activities, but even I would have to say we’re bordering on too much information in more than one place. I do like the last line, though.
Proud of you too, Mama. You gave both your boys such a stellar start by pumping for Eli and nursing Noah! Way to go!
Glad the lil guy is coming around to taking a bottle from you too. Love to you all.
I have a much different breastfeeding story than you do, but I do understand that internal struggle that takes place over this topic. Be VERY proud of yourself for breastfeeding for 8 months! That is an amazing accomplishment.
How are you doing today? I am thinking a lot about you…and praying. Can I stop at the hospital for a visit later in the week?
I ended up nursing him again for a few more weeks (convenience sakes) but I’m done and I’m dried up. It was a good run!