In 2 weeks is Eli’s 3rd (and God willing – last) open-heart surgery. I have a lot of mixed emotions regarding his surgery and preparing for it. Part of me is just looking forward to getting it done and having it over with and the other part of me is completely dreading the entire thing.
– Scared: there are so many unknowns right now – how quickly is he going to recover, is he going to survive, are there going to be any complications (during or after), etc.
– Overwhelmed: I’ve been busy getting childcare lined up for Noah so he doesn’t have to spend his days (and nights) at the hospital (I want him there for part of the time but I also want him to get out for part of the time) and so Dave and I can spend our time at the hospital with Eli. There is just so much to prepare for because of the number of people who will be caring for him (thank you to all those by the way). I need to have clothes, diapers, wipes, breast milk/formula, food, etc. packed up and ready to go for each individual watching him (so far its 3 people but might be more) before I leave for Eli’s surgery.
– Sad: my mom won’t be there to help me. She was going to stay with us and care for Noah so we could focus on Eli. I’m sad that she won’t be there to give me hugs and support.
– Nervous: I’m nervous about how everything will go – Eli and his surgery and Noah and his care (I’m confident in the care but I’m nervous how he will behave, he’s a good baby for us so I’m hoping he’ll be a good baby for others).
– Dread: I’m just dreading the whole thing. I don’t want Eli to have surgery. I don’t want to find people to take Noah. I don’t want to do anything except stay home with my boys.
We covet your prayers for Eli, Noah, us, the nurses, the doctors and those watching Noah.
- Eli – his recovery (that it be speedy), his ability to listen to his body and rest and his overall attitude (it would be nice of he stayed in good spirits)
- Noah – he’ll be carted around from place to place during our hospital stay. Pray that he’ll adapt well and continue to be the happy little baby that he generally is.
- Dave and I – that we can lean on each other and be supportive and encouraging. Pray for our mental health, our hearts and our attitudes.
- Dr. Moga (surgeon) and Dr. Rios (pediatric cardiologist) – wisdom, strength, patience and understanding
- The nurses – wisdom, patience with Eli and us, the ‘right’ words to say to us and understanding
- Noah’s childcare providers – patience with my baby boy, understanding for any crabbiness he may display, lots and lots of love and flexibility
I know there is a lot more going through my head, but I’m struggling getting it out in words.
Oh Megan. :( I know every single emotion and feeling that you have listed here. This is an intense experience in every way imaginable. I feel your pain and I feel so badly that you have to go through this. You can count on us for prayers and support! Dr. Moga and the cardiology team at Children’s are top-notch. They will take VERY good care of Eli. He is in the best hands!