I've debated a long time about writing this post. I've had several versions tumbling around in my head for the last few months. So, I'm going to give it a go…(I'm not even sure anyone reads this blog any more!).
If you know me, truly know me, I struggle with my self image. And I mean STRUGGLE! I don't like my face, especially my skin. I'm 34 years old and have acne like I'm 14. It's pretty damaging to my self-esteem. My body has carried and bore 3 beautiful children! But I don't like my chubby thighs, big butt, poochy stomach or saggy mom boobs.
However, it has been on my heart for a few months now to work really hard at learning to love myself, just the way I am. I have a daughter who needs me to portray a positive self image. I have 2 boys who need me to portray a positive self image. I have a husband who needs me to stop tearing down everything he loves about me. I need to stop hating myself and start loving myself.
In part of learning to love myself more, I decided to make a goal for the month of July. My goal was to run 30 miles (in total) and lose 5 pounds. It was hard! I struggled to not compare my time to past times. I kept trying to be positive and remind myself "it's about the fact that I'm moving and not sitting idly". Because I'm a visual person (and duly inspired by a good friend) I made a visual for my miles.
It was fun to color in the squares for each mile! My kids were so encouraging! "Look mom, you've run XX miles and only have XX to go!" They loved seeing me work toward and meet this goal.
I kept track of some extra miles put in via walking or biking. It was fun!
Dave and I decided to keep track of our calories and what we are eating. We've been documenting these in the "MyFitnessPal" app. Its been encouraging to share this journey with him. The gentle reminders of "do you have enough calories left for that snack?" have helped me to stay on track…for the most part. And I'm happy to say that I met my goal of losing 5 pounds! Whew!
Now, to continue the journey in loving myself…I'm going to make a goal for the month of August. I'm going to do 55 miles (jogging, walking, biking, etc.) and lose another 5 pounds. Think I can do it?!
Why do I want to lose weight? Well, I lost sight of myself this winter and was caught up in taking care of everyone else that I gained 18 pounds. I have currently lost 7 of those 18 pounds and have 11 more to get back to where I was before.